Urk Peew

speech crox 26 - solo Dirk De Neef, April 1995; text: van Heirseele.




it is known
that the first opening speech hovers over the surface of the waters

a barely
comprehensible hoverish dimension in between saliva and an avalanche of words

when the
first opening speech was invented

we don’t
know by whom – nor do we know why

the event
fit to use it didn’t materialise

such as this one were scarce in those days

and the
attendance didn’t run high

insufferable hovering over surfaces of water in columns of sulpher and smoke

rains of fire and fountains of ash

didn’t make
the job easier for the acting speaker – quite on the contrary

nor was it
what one would call a comfortable posture

all this
and more hampered what would today be called a cosy introductory chat



one Urk Peew had with a sharp stone

during one
of those long nights just after the beginning of time

and blinded
by beholding a flash of brilliant light

as he would
afterwards confess

out of pure
ennui scratched a few lines in the wall of rock

the beblindedness

origin of
all admiration

alas no one
cared to bother

unless one
took the moaning of Urk Peew who had by accident been hit by a strong rock as an
expression of appreciation for his part


the oldest artifact resulting from the technique of solarisation: another
lightning hit the unfortunate Urk Peew and in the blink of an eye transformed
this promising and talented young man in a scorched Sunday roast

those were
harsh times

dark times

a nephew of
Urk Peew

the hirsute
Ororor Pow Krapkrapook

had invented the folding chair

and had
reached his end prematurely

sitting on
a branch that snapped



All second
opening speeches resemble the first

a promising


hesitate between



was die
Wahrheit ist – und was Lüge - das bringt keiner heraus[1]

nor the
reason why


E: what the truth is – and
what a lie – no one can make out